Success: Blessing or burden?Sep 05, 2018
Last week I had a wonderful conversation with a successful, ambitious young woman. We talked about success.
I love having meaningful conversations where I get to know someone better. It is inspiring to see how engaging and connecting with another human being can light both involved in a meaningful conversation up.
That is my definition of success: when I feel connected and see a shift happen, enthusiasm spark, and clarity emerges. I love witnessing the ‘aha’ moments. They are like little miracles to me. I feel most fulfilled when I make little miracles happen. That’s why I choose to be a life coach.
A miracle to me is not rare or extraordinary. They are also not unexplainable. It is simply the act of following your bliss, believing in your dreams and taking actions that make your dreams real. Success is a given when you know what to do to fill yourself up, and do more of that.
There is no ONE definition of success. Everyone defines success in their own unique way. It is very personal.
This is where success can easily become a burden instead of a blessing. When you follow someone else’s definition of success, success is a trap, not your truth.
What is the definition of success?
This is what you’ll find when you look up success in the dictionary:
- the accomplishment of an aim or purpose
- the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status
The first definition is a very broad truth. Success is accomplishing something. To make the accomplishment meaningful and fulfilling, you’d have to know what YOU are aiming for, and what your purpose is.
The second definition is really a consequence of your own personal success.
Fame, wealth, social status are totally meaningless if you don’t feel whole, alive, and happy.
Your aim is not the attainment of fame, wealth or social status. Your aim is to have fun, feel alive, energized, and fulfilled.
To feel good about who you are and what you do. When you know what fills you up, you know what your aim and purpose are. Abundance and prosperity will natural flow to you when you are aligned with that.
You know you are on the right track when it feels easy, you have lots of energy, you are creative and feel mostly joy.
You know you are heading into the success trap when you feel overwhelmed, you are busy without feeling you are accomplishing anything, it’s not satisfying and you feel drained.
We have been programmed to look for external reward and avoid punishments. The approval of our parents, the expectations of our teachers in school, the expectations of society, economy, and the government. Money is an external reward. Increasing sales and profit, external rewards.
We have been discouraged to look for internal rewards when what we do is fun, playful, imaginative, creative.
Joy, happiness, and success can’t be ours without sacrifice and hard work. This is a belief that does not serve anyone.
To FEEL successful, you need to make a mind shift and let go of some of these beliefs.
You need to feel deserving of success, without having to justify it. Why can’t you just strive to be happy, joyful and feel really good about what you do? Even if it doesn’t satisfy the expectations of others?
Is it not happiness and freedom you are really looking for when you are trying to get more sales, more profit? Sacrifice more, work harder?
It is hard to stay motivated when you are not looking for the internal rewards and busy yourself with things that don’t matter to you.
What keeps you going with ease is to do things that matter to you. No need to justify it and find reasons that please anybody else but you.
Why do you do what you do? The only answer that will lead you to success is:
‘Because I love it!’
What makes you feel alive, what fills you up, what drives you from the inside?
When you get really clear on that, you can define what success means to you.
When you know what success means to you, you can start aligning your actions with what is meaningful and create your own success markers!
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