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The Power of Owning Your Power

empowerment freedom influence power role model Jul 10, 2017
  • What does power mean to you and how do you feel about powerful people?
  • What do you believe about power and powerful people, and how is this effecting your thoughts feelings and actions in life?

These are important questions to ask yourself and to do some self reflection on.

Without power there is no light. Without light, there is no hope. Without hope, life ceases.

What is power?

  • Power is energy
  • Power is what drives us and keeps us going
  • It is what brings people together to achieve the impossible
  • Power is strength and determination
  • Power is the potential for greatness
  • Power is competence and mastery
  • Power is influence and persuasion

Power only becomes apparent within the context of relationships. Only when someone appears to have some kind of impact on others and society and ability to create change in the community or the world, do we say they are powerful.

A powerful person is an influential person.

Influence is the ability to connect, communicate, have an impact, be emphatic, include, and role model.

Power without compassion, understanding, and vulnerability is not power but force.

Power is not the same as control.

Control is force. Influence is power.

Why is it important to own your power?

If you feel resistance or negative about power, it is probably because you misunderstand the word and have adopted a negative perception of people with power.

Power has been given a bad name and now it has a negative reputation. Historically there have been a great number of powerful leaders that have used their power to corrupt and manipulate.

Presently, there are many examples of leaders doing the same. Power has become equated with control, manipulation and corruption.

It is not power that is corrupting, it’s the people using the power in a negative way.

Power can be abused. But just because there are people out there using power to control, manipulate and suppress, doesn’t mean that power is a bad thing. Just like a knife can be a useful tool or a dangerous weapon. It’s about who has the knife and how it is used.

One of the reasons people are afraid of power is because they think it will corrupt them somehow. Another reason is that they are afraid of the responsibility power comes with.

The danger of dismissing power out of fear that it may be used in a harmful way is that those individuals who do this, play small, they tend to judge and blame those in power and they often dis-empower themselves, unknowingly.

A feeling of powerlessness comes form a lack of influence.
We all know how it feels when our employer, our parent or child, or our spouse doesn’t take us seriously.

  • You think you deserve that promotion but you can’t convince your boss how valuable you are.
  • Your child isn’t putting any effort in at school and you know there is so much potential but your child just won’t listen to you.
  • You feel unloved or unimportant in your relationship but your spouse doesn’t seem to understand you.

It can be so frustrating when you are so passionate about something and you think it’s a great idea, but people around you think you are crazy, don’t share your passion, and don’t want to support you.

Influence is the most important, yet most forgotten ingredient of power.

A lack of influence can give you a sense of lack of belonging, especially when you don’t feel taken seriously. You feel unheard, misunderstood, or undervalued and you are unable to gain support for your goals.

In a relationship a lack of influence makes you feel disconnected and separate.

In a career lack of influence makes you feel unimportant and undervalued.

In all cases a lack of influence makes you feel dis-empowered.

Acknowledging and owning your power means you’re committed to learn to become an influencer and improve all your relationships.

Relationships are the essence of our experiences, because it is through our relationships that we find meaning in life. An experience becomes much more meaningful when we have someone to share it with.

Wouldn’t you say influence is pretty important?
And you can’t be a powerful influencer without owning your power!

“I am not powerful, and I’m not sure I want that responsibility!”

I hear this too often. Too many people are afraid of their own power, deny that they have any, and they prefer to stay small, resigning to a safe and mediocre life.

And you know what, that’s fine. I am not judging anyone, in fact, I get it.

I was there once myself, and it’s not a bad place to be. Until, something happens that turns your life upside down. Then you feel stuck in a dark, lonely place, you feel you don’t belong, you have been wronged in a terrible way and there is nothing you can do about it.

That’s what happens when you feel powerless, dis-empowered, and victimized.

When you acknowledge and own your power,

  • You are resilient and strong
  • You rise above the struggle and pain
  • You become a light and powerful role model for others that are struggling and feel powerless
  • You have a positive impact and contribute to the world around you

When you recognize and own your power you trust yourself and listen to your own cues, not other people’s.

When you own your power you become a leader. Influence is leadership.

Leadership is important when you want to become a better

  • Parent
  • Spouse
  • Employer/employee
  • Friend

Many people will read this and feel this does not apply to them.

They are wrong
Everyone is powerful
Anything but owning that power is playing small and dis-empowering

If you don’t own your power and use it to be the best role model you can possibly be, for your family, your friends and your community, you are dis-empowering yourself.

You are responsible to stand up for what is right and for what is good. Using your power in a responsible way is what will be the positive influence the world needs right now.

How to start owning your power

As a Certified High Performance Coach people basically hire me to help them reach their next level up. To become more. More fulfilled, more joyful, more powerful, so that they can have better relationships, better health, get more done in a day, have a more fulfilling career and have a more meaningful life.

Ultimately, I believe we all want to feel free, vibrant, and alive. (Read my blog: 'How to experience more freedom')

 Many people, however, have resigned to their current reality, unaware that they can choose to change and improve their lives drastically. No matter where they are at.

The principles, concepts and tools used within High Performance coaching are all grounded in solid science. Countless studies have discovered what it is that makes the most successful people so successful. It turns out they have certain habits in common. It has nothing to do with luck, good genes or personality.

It has to do with the fact that they know their power and how to use it in way that not only serves themselves but those they wish to serve as well.

Six steps to start owning your power

You can get there too, by doing this exercise of self reflection and journaling about it:

  1. Accept that you are powerful
    Think of a time in your life you felt powerful. How did that feel, what were you doing and why did you feel powerful? What words would you use to describe what that power felt like?
  2. Believe that you are powerful
    What are you saying to yourself in your mind? Are you talking yourself into believing you are powerful or out of believing it? What words could you say to yourself that would make you feel powerful?
  3. Choose to change
    Not because you are not good enough now, but because you know you can be even better. Who do you have to become in order to be an even better parent, lover, friend, business owner employer/employee, or leader? What qualities does your higher self posses that you can start employing and embracing as your new identity? What words would describe this new identity?
  4. Decide to take action
    With this new identity, how could you demonstrate this new powerful you? What actions would you take that you have been avoiding? How would your significant other know you love them? How would you know you are embodying a more powerful you in all your relationships? What would be the biggest benefit in your life if you already were a powerful, successful influencer?
  5. Empower yourself
    Think of a situation where you are compromising yourself, or a person or situation you are avoiding. Is there something or someone that makes you feel small, powerless or frustrated? First, take responsibility for how you feel. Stop blaming the person or situation for making you feel that way. Be accountable for how you feel, own how you feel so you can take control now. Now look at the power words you wrote down in the exercises above. Write them all down again and notice how that feels. Then close your eyes and do the following meditation. 
  6. Meditate

Download the meditation right here, so you can follow along and keep your eyes closed for a better result.

Rise above Meditation

Close your eyes.

Make sure you are sitting in a comfortable position, straight back, supported if desired, feet firmly on the floor

Bring the attention to your breath

Take a few mindful deep breaths in and out through your nose. Observe the flow of air in and out of your nostrils

Now, with each exhalation, release any tension from your body

Drop shoulders

Release tension in your chest, your belly, your legs and arms, your face, jaw, eyes
Stay with your breath

Notice a peaceful calmness come over you

Now imagine your highest self, the best version of you, sitting right next to you
Feel the warmth and love coming from this powerful self.
She or he has so much compassion for you, is so proud of you and sees the potential in you

Just take it in, with each inhale, breathe in the love, the compassion, the trust and belief in you.

It feels amazing, keep breathing it in

Feel it in your heart
your belly
your extremities are tingling
a pleasant calmness comes over you
a sense of clarity about who you really are

Now feel the energy coming from your higher self, sitting right next to you

Think about what has been frustrating you
What situation you have been avoiding
Who is making you feel powerless

How does that feel?
Where do you feel that?

Deep breath in
Deep breath out

Now bring your attention to you higher self

Deep breath in
Deep breath out

What is your highest self saying to you about this?

What advice is she or he giving you?

How does your higher self see this person you are struggling with?

Feel yourself rise above the frustration and powerlessness

Feel the energy lift you up

Breathe it in deeply, into your heart
Feel your heart expand with each inhale

Feel all tension release with each exhale

Now, think about your power words

How would your higher self cheer you on?
What could you say to yourself faced with the difficult situation?

How would you feel?

What would you do?

Imagine your powerful self emerge, and rise up

Imagine the successful outcome that would benefit all

Imagine yourself becoming the best lover, friend, parent, child, teacher, coach, therapist, business owner, employer or employee

What does that look like for you?

Feel how that feels.


Bring your attention to your higher self

Deep breath in
Deep breath out

Now thank your higher self for always being there for you

For reminding you of the power of love




Feel the appreciation in your heart for yourself

See yourself as a powerful role model

Just as your higher self is there for you, you can be there for others
Power is LIGHT


And Hope brings people back to life

Be that bright shining light

See yourself rise above

Shining bright





Feel how that feels in your body

Where do you feel that in your body


bring your attention back to your breath

Deep breath in
Deep breath out

Hold the intention to maintain that powerful energy as you slowly come back to the room

You know now that your power is always there

It is up to you to generate it, allow it, bring it out

Deep breath in
Deep breath out


Put your hand on your heart

And feel the power in your heart

Feel how powerful owning your power really feels

Open your eyes


Need more help?

Try out a free High Performance Coaching session and find your power within. Just fill out this application, (it's fill-able) save it and attach it to an email to [email protected]


Do me a favor and share this blog and meditation with friends and family. Help me cause a ripple of empowerment.

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