Top 3 Excuses preventing Happiness

I have noticed a few disturbing excuses popping up frequently that prevent me from feeling happy. Maybe you will recognize some of them while reading this.

Today I won't let my mind wander and settle on what is wrong, what is hard, what is scary, painful or sad. I won't complain, or whine, nor am I going into competition with anybody else over who is having a harder time. I won't get drawn into all the bad news or the complaining of others, not because there is no reason to complain or worry, but because it is the worst, futile use of my energy. It is plain stupid and inefficient, and the only satisfaction I will get out of it is that I am right to feel so miserable.

How is it possible that I catch myself defending my ‘right’ to feel miserable? Building a case, backed up by excuses and justifications that prove why I am feeling tired, discouraged, and miserable. Is it because I think someone will come and rescue me? Or is it because I am trying to excuse myself from responsibilities and explain to others why I haven’t succeeded yet? Or maybe it is because it is just a habit, a pattern, programmed in my childhood- the only way to get real attention was when something was wrong- to satisfy my craving for acknowledgement and attention?

Is it because I think someone will come and rescue me? Or is it because I am trying to excuse myself from responsibilities and explain to others why I haven’t succeeded yet? Or maybe it is because it is just a habit, a pattern, programmed in my childhood- the only way to get real attention was when something was wrong- to satisfy my craving for acknowledgement and attention?

Or is it because I am trying to excuse myself from responsibilities and explain to others why I haven’t succeeded yet? Or maybe it is because it is just a habit, a pattern, programmed in my childhood- the only way to get real attention was when something was wrong- to satisfy my craving for acknowledgement and attention?

Or maybe it is because it is just a habit, a pattern, programmed in my childhood- the only way to get real attention was when something was wrong- to satisfy my craving for acknowledgement and attention?

It could even be because I think I don’t deserve the attention and the acknowledgment if the journey to success isn’t filled with difficulties and struggles. I’d better make sure I am very clear about how difficult my life really is; it’s not all that easy, you know. Doesn’t anybody understand how difficult this is?
I can’t just be happy, can I? Is it really more rewarding to be unhappy than happy?

This focus on struggle and limitations will attract more of the same, proving once again how hard my life is. More ammunition to build my case of misery.

How I discovered this clever scheme of my egotistic mind was with equally clever detective work: mindfulness meditation and introspection. It also involved research and study on the subject of meditation and mindfulness, neuropsychology and the reading of thought provoking and inspirational books. I was on a quest to figure out how to become the person I really wanted to be: happy, vibrant and uplifting.

The Top 3 Excuses preventing Happiness:

#1 The Victim- My conditions and circumstances are in the way:

Very popular and extremely powerful, creating the illusion that we are powerless. A good excuse to stop trying. When this excuse appears in your experience, get over yourself and remind yourself of your power to transcend your circumstances.

#2 No Reward- If my life seems happy and easy, people won’t give me attention, or support me:

Something has to be wrong to get love and attention. People will envy me for having an easy life and I will lose their love and acceptance.
Also very powerful, as complaining about things together with others creates a bond. It gives you something in common to talk about and you’ll feel supported when others acknowledge your misery and reinforce it with their own. This negative energy is powerful and you will attract more of it. One day you’ll find yourself surrounded by complainers, and you’ll attract circumstances that you can complain about.

#3 Not Good Enough- Judging yourself as not good enough, smart enough, or strong enough:

This has nothing to do with being humble. We think it is safer to be small to avoid failure or other people’s judgement. We don’t want to risk feeling vulnerable by striving to go beyond mediocre. Staying within the comfort zone is our goal, playing it safe, trying to ‘Fit In'. Fit in what, where, with whom and why?

I challenge you to sit quietly for 20 minutes, every day. The first 5 minutes just focus on breathing, noticing your thoughts. Then ask yourself: who do I want to be? Am I speaking my truth? If not, why not?

See what happens when you start questioning yourself and change your perspective.

Share your experiences below in the comment section.