Whenever we love deeply, we fear the loss and we feel pain. When the loss becomes reality, we fall apart.
Valentine’s day can be one of those days when we are reminded of a lost love. We are not alone. Really, we are never alone. But grief can make us feel sad and lonely.
On this day be extra gentle and loving towards yourself, by listening carefully what it is you need. Whether you want to be alone or surrounded by people, make sure that what you do involves nurturing yourself. When you don’t want to be alone, ask friends or family to spend time with you. Don’t wait for people to invite you, they don’t know what you need. Maybe they just don’t know what to say or do and they are afraid to upset you.
If you’d rather be alone, pamper yourself. Treat yourself to something special, like a massage, or buy some beautiful colorful flowers to enjoy. Or if you're like me, go for a nice long walk with your dog.
Valentine’s day and the weeks running up to it are filled with messages from the media, movies, and advertising that tell us that we can’t be happy and whole unless we are partnered up. All the media and advertisers want to do, is to sell more stuff. It is not about love at all.
The extra effort of couples showing their affection seems to rub in the loss, even if you never really bought into the media craziness. As far as I am concerned, every day is Valentine’s day. Don’t you want to show your love and celebrate your love every day, and make every day a special day?
Why can’t we make Valentine’s day also about loving ourselves? Can we use this day to start discovering who we are and focus on ourselves? Working on self-love, self-respect, self-support and being kind to ourselves will cultivate a loving attitude. When we practise a loving attitude we become stronger, more radiant and empowered.
We cannot give away what we don’t have. Meaning we cannot give love away unless we charge ourselves with love first. Giving self-respect and self-love will come back to us because this is what we will emanate.
Charged with love we become whole again, our broken hearts heal. We recognize that we don’t need anyone to complete us, we already are complete and whole.
We enable ourselves to face the fears of being alone and allow ourselves to feel the feelings of deep-rooted loneliness or fears of abandonment.
Nothing can make us feel more charged and radiant than being true to who we are, loving ourselves and life, living our purpose and enjoying life.
A romantic partner was and always will be the icing on the cake, an enhancement to what is already there: