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Why your life is not getting better and better, and how it can be. Part 4

empowerment fear freedom happiness struggle Jun 26, 2017

How to experience more freedom

How can you possibly feel free in today’s world when there seems to be so much injustice, manipulation and hatred?

How can you feel free from worrying and fears, free from doubt and uncertainty, free from other people’s opinions and judgments?

How can you be free from the ongoing power struggle between you and others in your life, your employer, your co-workers, your family, or your significant other?

How can you not be a prisoner of your self imposed limitations: the belief you are inadequate, incapable, and you don’t deserve?

And how can you not be consumed by preparing for life’s adversities that are undoubtedly coming your way, leaving you worried and fearful about tomorrow?

Well, it is all a matter of perspective.

It all depends on how you perceive your life.

  • What do you focus on?
  • What meaning do you give your experiences?
  • Are you taking responsibility for what comes your way?
  • Do you hold your self personally accountable for your actions?


You might be thinking:

‘WHAT????!!!? I am not responsible for what other people do to me, for what is happening in the world, for losing my job, or losing my loved one!!!’

You are right. You are not responsible for other people’s actions.

You are also wrong, because you have more to do with what is going on in your life than you think.

What you give out, you get back. The problem is most people are not even aware of what they are giving out. They just stumble their way through life by accident. That’s not how it has to be.

You are responsible for how you react, for how you feel, and for your choices and actions.


Far too often I see people sad and angry because of something that was said or done to them. Sometimes it was done years or even decades ago. And they seem to be attracting people or experiences that make them feel the same way over and over.

They come to me looking for help and ask me how they can feel better.

Almost always the answer is simple:

By letting go of the past, taking responsibility for the present and expecting a better future.


That’s easier said than done, I know.

How can you actually live your life that way?

What can you do to make that your reality?

That’s what this blog post is all about.

This last blog post in a series of four about how to live a better life, is all about how to feel free from all the fears, the worries, the limiting beliefs, and the struggle.

Is it even possible to experience FREEDOM?

In the previous three posts I talked about why it’s so easy to lose your confidence, what to do about challenges and adversities, how to feel less powerless and now it’s time for the final one to learn how you can apply everything to feel a sense of freedom.

What do I mean by freedom?

Freedom feels like innocence, relief, lightness, and fun.

All of a sudden life isn’t such a strenuous struggle all the time and you have more energy, experience more joy and feel more abundant.

  • Everything looks brighter and more colourful.
  • People don’t push your buttons anymore and in fact are more helpful and supportive than ever before.
  • Things just seem to come together for you with ease in most unexpected ways.
  • When things don’t go your way you don’t worry about it, instead you trust that something better will come along.
  • When life gets tough and grief hits hard, you are more resilient, you know you are not alone and you feel supported and safe.

Freedom feels like unconditional love, worthiness, and trust that you can’t go wrong.

Freedom means there is no judgement, and criticizing or being criticized are no longer a part of your experience.

There is no need to prove or assert yourself, you don’t have to explain yourself or apologize for who you are.
You know who you are, what your purpose is and you know you will get to where you want to get and you enjoy the journey, detours and all.
Life is just mostly a wonderful, joyful experience.

To be this enlightened and experience this kind of freedom takes practice.

Life long, daily practice.

If you think that’s just too much work, think again.

Isn’t it worth your effort to experience your life getting better and better every day?
Things just getting easier and easier?
Feeling the fulfillment of contributing to not just a better life for you but to a better world?

I’d say YES of course it’s worth it, sign me up!
The cost of more joy and happiness is not a big price to pay!

My next question would be:

‘So what do I do now?’

The short answer is by applying these three basic principles of SELF:

  • Be selfish enough to fill yourself up so you have more to give.
  • Be self-aware enough to know that you own how you feel. Your reactions are yours, they have nothing to do with the person or situation that triggered them.
  • Be selfless enough to know that it is not always all about you. It is always about the greater benefit to all. Look at the bigger picture.


In addition to applying these principles there are steps that will lead to empowerment and freedom

The thirteen keystones to freedom

Before anything can change in your life you have to make the decision.

You decide you want to be free and start living a better life.

  • Who do you want to be?
  • What matters most to you?
  • What do you want to achieve?
  • What do you want more of or less of in your life?

You decide! Without your intentional decision, your life will appear random.

Free yourself from past experiences.

Let go of the past. It doesn’t matter who did what and why, how bad or wrong it was. You are maintaining your own suffering when you keep justifying how wrong it was, how bad it was, and how wronged you were. Or how wrong you were.

Free yourself from all past burdens and move on.

Free yourself from past conflicts and grudges you hold.

Forgive yourself and others for all wrongdoing and mistakes, and allow yourself to be free from that burden. You are not letting anyone off the hook, you are giving yourself the gift of peace.

Free yourself from the fear that holds you back.

It takes courage to be you, openly, without holding back. Be bold. Dare to be different, unique, dare to grow and be true to yourself.

Embrace all that you are and acknowledge your greatness instead of arguing for your insignificance.


Free yourself from the fear of having dreams, and have desires.

Who you are now and where you are now is already ‘old news’. Your current experience is a result of past goals and dreams, whether you were aware of them or not. For many, life unfolds by accident, not on purpose or with intention.

Dreams can give you purpose and intention. That is what gives you direction.


Free yourself from living a random life.

If you plan a trip or vacation, you want to know your destination, so you know where you are going. You can use a GPS and program the destination in there, and it will give you direction so you arrive at your destination without detours or getting lost on the way.

Without a planned destination, you will just end up somewhere by accident. It’s important to stay on track and give yourself direction.

Your choices and actions should lead you to where you want to go.


Free yourself from being reactive.

It takes discipline to be present, and to take responsibility. You have a choice to let people push your buttons and pull your strings. You don’t have to let them.

Practice staying present, create a space between when you get triggered and your habitual reaction. Take a breath, count to ten, but don't act on your impulses.

You don't have to let your circumstances dictate how you feel or how you react either.

Choose a different response!

Feeling angry is an emotional response to a trigger, but reacting from anger and getting angry is optional. You have control over your actions, always, and what you need to do is to take responsibility for your feelings.

Take a few deep breaths, then ask yourself why you really feel so angry. What is it inside of you that feels hurt?

That is where your true power lies! It never is about the other person or your circumstances.

Practice freeing yourself from being triggered by any person or event.


Make a clear statement of what you want. Write it down and remind yourself of this every day.

  • Who do you want to be?
  • How do you want to interact with others?
  • How can you matter most today?
  • What do you want your day to look like?

Expect a better future. It is like tuning into the frequency of a particular radio or TV station. What frequency is your receiver tuned to??

Make clear positive statements then detach yourself from the outcome and let your day flow.



Free yourself from stagnation and feeling stuck. Allow yourself to grow, learn, and expand.

Don’t stop moving forward, keep up with your new goals and desires. Develop new habits and routines that actually benefit you.

Practice challenging yourself by learning something new every month or every few months.

Never think you know it all and never stop learning.

Practice makes perfect. It takes 66 days to make something into a habit. Don't give up.

Create smart, daily routines and rituals to develop new habits and practices.

Remind yourself of your decision and why it matters.

Make the time and block this time in your schedule.

Freeing up time for you will feel satisfying and you feel more in control.


Free yourself from distractions.


There are many energy sucking, time wasting activities that make you feel busy, but don't give you any fulfillment.

Commit yourself to activities that are purposeful, intentional and effective.

Set boundaries for yourself. Don't get sucked into endless, mindless entertainment, such as browsing the net, social media or television.

When you say you are too busy, is all that you are so busy with of benefit to you?

Dedicating yourself to what is beneficial and important and making intentional choices will open up time and energy for you.

Free yourself from always pleasing others. Learn to say 'NO'. Always fulfilling other's needs is a distraction too! Make sure you meet your own needs!

Dedicate time and energy to YOU.

You matter.

Become a positive role model.

  • By demonstrating self-empowerment.
  • By taking responsibility.
  • By being personally accountable.

Free yourself from comparing yourself to others and from competition.

You don't have to have endless debates about who is right and who is wrong. It is far more powerful to show how you can be happy, healthy and alive.

Words don't teach, experiences do.


Free yourself from conflicts and stop avoiding confrontations.

Speak your truth in a non-violent way, without the need to be right. Show respect and understanding for other people's uniqueness and differences of opinion.

It is not all just about you.

Learn how to be diplomatic. This will help you gain support for a common cause.


When you diligently apply these keystones,  you will empower yourself and you will experience an enormous sense of FREEDOM.

When you let go of the past, take responsibility for your present and expect a better future, you will experience more freedom.

When you practice the 'three principles of self' you are no longer a victim of your circumstances, you know you have a choice and you know you can always tune your receiver to a positive frequency. That is how you empower yourself, and that is how you experience FREEDOM.


Want to make a difference in the world?

  • Share this post with your friends and family.
  • Let me know how you feel about empowerment in the comment section
  • Ask your questions
  • Let me know what you want to learn more about!


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