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Success: Blessing or burden?

Last week I had a wonderful conversation with a successful, ambitious young woman. We talked about success.

I love having meaningful conversations where I get to know someone better. It is inspiring to see how engaging and connecting with another human being can light both involved in a meaningful conversation up.

That is my definition of success: when I feel connected and see a shift happen, enthusiasm spark, and clarity emerges. I love witnessing the ‘aha’ moments. They are like little miracles to me. I feel most fulfilled when I make little miracles happen. That’s why I choose to be a life coach.

A miracle to me is not rare or extraordinary. They are also not unexplainable. It is simply the act of following your bliss, believing in your dreams and taking actions that make your dreams real. Success is a given when you know what to do to fill yourself up, and do more of that.

There is no ONE definition of success. Everyone defines success in their own unique way....

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What are the odds of you existing as you here and now?

change empowerment miracle Jan 10, 2018

What are the odds of you existing as you here and now?


“What on earth am I doing? Who do I think I am? I am fighting an uphill battle, the odds are stacked against me and I will never get my message out.”

This was yesterday.

Words inside my head. I was listening as I felt my self-doubt eat up all the evidence that I am indeed a loser. Old familiar feelings of shame taking advantage of me letting my guards down.

Does this sound familiar?

I know it does, because I hear my friends, family and clients talk about this at some point.
Self-doubt is a huge problem for many, but it doesn’t have to be.

How can I forget the truth of who I am so quickly in a moment where things just don’t seem to work out the way I want them to? Old familiar beliefs that I thought I had let go of eager to grow more roots:

“If I could just settle for less, everything would be fine right now.”

It is tempting, but staying put or giving up is not an option for me. And I know from...

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New Year's Resolutions are useless

Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

New Year’s resolutions are useless, unless……..

Happy New Year everyone, I wish for all of you that it will be a happy one.

We say ‘Happy New Year!’ to everybody for the first few days of the year, everybody wishes each other a HAPPY New Year.

Do we even know what Happy means? What are you wishing for and do you even know how to make that happen for yourself?

‘Happy’ is not captured in a single definition. It is very personal and it is an individual experience we have.

Happiness is not something we achieve or have, it is a state of mind we can generate at any moment. Happiness, like love, is unconditional. Meaning, it can be yours to experience no matter what your circumstances are.

New Year’s resolutions are a way to accomplish something we want that we think will make us feel better, or even HAPPY. Why else would we want it, right?

The problem is we make happiness conditional. We think we need to...

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Happy

Photo by Mi PHAM on Unsplash

 There is no key to happiness. Happiness IS the key.


The one thing all human beings have in common is that we all just want to be happy.

Now this could be a very short blog, because it is so simple: the key to happiness is to be happy.

But…..

That doesn’t really help anyone. And if it really was that easy, everyone would be happy already. Simple does not necessarily mean it is easy.

I used to say this all the time to my patients when I was still practicing physiotherapy, along with the words ‘using common sense’ and ‘keeping it simple’. My job was to teach my patients new habits, putting common sense into common practice and keeping it simple and practical, coaching them towards a healthier, happier life.


I know for a fact that most people are not happy. At least, not most of the time and not in all areas of their life.

Maybe you are happy with your job or career, but not so happy in your relationship.
I know many...

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Who are you trying to prove yourself to?

HOW IT REALLY IS

Where you are is already perfect.

Nobody has to change because they aren’t good enough but because they want to grow.

It’s natural.

Resisting growth is asking for trouble.

You already are good enough, you are perfect where you are, you don’t have to change to become a better person. You already are that person.

Do you know what this means? Read the words again and feel that in your body. Doesn’t that feel like a huge relief?

You don’t have to prove anything to anybody

Imagine if all children believe and know that they are already perfect, and what lies in front of them are endless opportunities to learn and grow. Not because they need to become better, but because they are destined to be great and fulfill their dreams.

Imagine what would happen if we all believed that.

The competition would end. The self doubt and fears would dissipate. Only the desire for growth and expansion would remain, without any expectations or pressure.

Without...

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The Power of Owning Your Power

  • What does power mean to you and how do you feel about powerful people?
  • What do you believe about power and powerful people, and how is this effecting your thoughts feelings and actions in life?

These are important questions to ask yourself and to do some self reflection on.

Without power there is no light. Without light, there is no hope. Without hope, life ceases.


What is power?

  • Power is energy
  • Power is what drives us and keeps us going
  • It is what brings people together to achieve the impossible
  • Power is strength and determination
  • Power is the potential for greatness
  • Power is competence and mastery
  • Power is influence and persuasion

Power only becomes apparent within the context of relationships. Only when someone appears to have some kind of impact on others and society and ability to create change in the community or the world, do we say they are powerful.

A powerful person is an influential person.

Influence is the ability to connect, communicate, have an impact, be emphatic,...

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Don't Blame it on the Dogs

Who hasn’t used the ‘blame it on the dogs’ excuse for things gone wrong?

Blame stands for:
Behave Less Accountably and More Egocentrically

 

We all blame or have been a blamer at some point of our lives.

Let me share a true story about myself.

The DANGER of blame

I was a blamer once.

My dad had just passed away. I had made 3 trips back and forth to the Netherlands in the previous 4 months while he was sick, the last one was for his funeral. I was exhausted from all the emotions, the traveling and jet lag.

I really needed some support and a place to feel safe. I was hoping my relationship could offer that when I came home. Instead, I had the bottom ripped away from under my feet and fell in a deep dark hole.

My partner confessed that someone else had become the centre of attention, I was no longer loved and the relationship was over.

BAM!

It was the beginning of a nightmare, that lasted about 3 years. I didn’t think things could get worse, but they did.

It...

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Why your life is not getting better and better, and how it can be. Part 4

How to experience more freedom

How can you possibly feel free in today’s world when there seems to be so much injustice, manipulation and hatred?

How can you feel free from worrying and fears, free from doubt and uncertainty, free from other people’s opinions and judgments?

How can you be free from the ongoing power struggle between you and others in your life, your employer, your co-workers, your family, or your significant other?

How can you not be a prisoner of your self imposed limitations: the belief you are inadequate, incapable, and you don’t deserve?

And how can you not be consumed by preparing for life’s adversities that are undoubtedly coming your way, leaving you worried and fearful about tomorrow?


Well, it is all a matter of perspective.

It all depends on how you perceive your life.

  • What do you focus on?
  • What meaning do you give your experiences?
  • Are you taking responsibility for what comes your way?
  • Do you hold your self personally accountable...
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Why your life is not getting better and better, and how it can be. Part 3

Part 3: How to feel less powerless?

We live in uncertain times. Too many things seem to be causing fear and worry.

The climate, political unrest, wars, economic uncertainty, threats to our health and well-being not to mention all the things just in our personal lives.

Many of us don’t feel as safe anymore looking at what is going on in the world around us. Looking at the future causes fear and uncertainty. There is a sense of powerlessness.

Lately just around where I live, mother nature has been threatening and destructive with flooding, washouts, and windstorms causing damage, injury, and death.

It is no wonder that we feel as if we have no control over our life. It’s easy to feel powerless and even hopeless at times.

How can you gain your power and balance back and not get carried away and feel subjected to the chaos around you? How can you maintain a sense of positive power?

This third blog in this series of four is about how to feel less powerless in an uncertain,...

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Why your life is not getting better and better, and how it can be. Part 2

PART 2: How to deal with life’s Challenges


When you think about your future or even just tomorrow, are you excited? Are you in joyful anticipation and can’t wait to have more amazing experiences?

Or…….

Are you dreading another day, worrying about what’s around the corner or at least cautious, afraid to be disappointed if you expect good things to come?

If you are the cautious type, and you think wearing rose-colored glasses is just irresponsible and unrealistic, you need to know this:

  • You get what you expect
  • What you believe is what you’ll see
  • You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by maintaining a focus on the positive
  • Your life is your responsibility, take it!

 

This four-part blog series is about how to create a better life, free from feeling overwhelmed by worry, anxiety and stress.

So many people are saying how tired and stressed they are.

It’s a huge concern that so many of our children are struggling with anxiety,...

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