New Year's Resolutions are uselessJan 03, 2018
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New Year’s resolutions are useless, unless……..
Happy New Year everyone, I wish for all of you that it will be a happy one.
We say ‘Happy New Year!’ to everybody for the first few days of the year, everybody wishes each other a HAPPY New Year.
Do we even know what Happy means? What are you wishing for and do you even know how to make that happen for yourself?
‘Happy’ is not captured in a single definition. It is very personal and it is an individual experience we have.
Happiness is not something we achieve or have, it is a state of mind we can generate at any moment. Happiness, like love, is unconditional. Meaning, it can be yours to experience no matter what your circumstances are.
New Year’s resolutions are a way to accomplish something we want that we think will make us feel better, or even HAPPY. Why else would we want it, right?
The problem is we make happiness conditional. We think we need to achieve or do something that will make us happy.
That is why we make New Year’s resolutions. Because we think achieving them will make us happy.
Well, the New Year has started. What did you decide about resolutions? Have them, or not?
Is your New Year’s resolution not to have any?
Because you don’t want to set yourself up for failure?
Because not wanting something that could make you happy is better than wanting something that can’t be yours?
New Years resolutions are useless unless you change two important things.
What does it even mean, a resolution?
A resolution is a firm decision or intention to do or not do something.
You don’t just decide to change or do something in the New Year, just because it is a New Year. Things are not magically going to be different for you just because one number in the year has changed.
Why do many fail at keeping their New Year’s resolution?
- There is no PLAN. They don’t schedule time or have a plan in place how they are going to do what they intend to do.
- They rarely practice having an intention and committing to it. More likely, they practice reasoning why keeping a resolution is not really important right now. They talk themselves out of it. They have become masters in making reasonable excuses.
- They don’t ask themselves empowering questions, but beat themselves up when they fail.
A New Year’s resolution is not something you just have, it is a practice you devote yourself to, daily throughout the year.
This is why I prefer Daily Intention. Something you practice every day, with conviction.
If you make your resolution your daily intention, you will be more successful.
You will still need to change two important things:
- Who you believe you are
- Your perspective
Who do you believe you are?
If you don’t have an answer right away, you need to take the time to sit with yourself and do some introspection.
If your New Year's Resolution is to run your first marathon for example, do you believe you are a marathon runner or do you see yourself as a beginner, a jogger?
If you want to quit smoking, do you believe that you are a smoker or a non-smoker? If you keep thinking of yourself as a smoker, it’s going to be much harder to quit.
Change who you believe you are, and start seeing yourself as that person. Yup, just do it, the truth is irrelevant if you want to change. Your desire is all that matters.
What is your perspective?
If your focus is mainly on what you don’t have, or can’t do, and you worry that you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment, you condemn yourself even before you start. When you think about how hard it is and what sacrifices you will have to make, you are dooming yourself to terminating your efforts prematurely. If you believe failure is the worst that can happen, you will never get far.
The right perspective is: success is inevitable. It is not a matter of IF but WHEN. Failure is not the end, it’s fuel for more determination and commitment. Getting the result is not the only reason you are making such an effort, it is all about the fun you can have while doing it. You can be happy right now, regardless of the results you are having. Feel successful just because you are.
When you know that you are that person that gets it done no matter what, and you focus on what works, what feels good, and on all the small wins, you will become what you intended to be.
Actions without the right mindset are almost always a waste of time. You risk ending up being very busy and getting nowhere fast or it takes forever to get where you want to be, with too much effort, and lots of sacrifices.
How to make New Year’s Resolution a success?
- Change your mindset: who you believe you are, and your perspective.
With the right mindset you can start planning action steps and scheduling time.
- Avoid focusing on past experiences. What you practiced in the past is not going to help you get somewhere else. It got you here to who you are now, not to your future self!
- The most successful people in the world ask themselves powerful questions. How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake, forget something or fail after the first attempt? Do you call yourself names? Do you say ‘I knew it, this is just not for me…’ or something like that? Do you condemn yourself, justifying to yourself why you failed? Then it really is crucial for you to practice asking yourself empowering questions, re-frame your reality, change your perspective and your beliefs about who you are. Move forward, look up, stand tall. Smile and encourage yourself: ‘I can do this’. Ask yourself: ‘What can I do right now that will make me feel better right away?’ Seems simple, almost common sense. But be honest, is that what you do when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or disheartened?
Share your New Year's Resolutions in the comment section below, and why it is so important to you!
To help you with asking empowering questions I put together a list of them here for you:
25 Empowering Questions you can ask yourself to make your New Year’s resolution a success
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