First Aid in times of Distress

Do you ever feel overwhelmed and helpless when life throws disasters your way, complete with seemingly insurmountable roadblocks? How do we deal with a disaster the size of the latest earthquake in Nepal? What can we do to help such unfathomable distress?

We can feel the sorrow and pain, but can only imagine what it would be like to have lost your loved ones, your home and safe shelter, your food, and water, your life. It puts our daily struggles in a different perspective, doesn’t it?

I feel my emotions intensify, escalating to a level where I need to apply emotional First Aid. I have learned, and science has proven, that the energy and intention we put out into the world will amplify ‘like’ energy. This is why we all feel the pain and the need to do something. When you are already in pain, it can become too much, too overwhelming. We all recognize the temptation to distract ourselves, putting up a shield, protecting our vulnerable heart and retreating into helplessness. We believe there is nothing we can do. We become victimized by circumstances and surrender or armor up. Our nervous system goes into the flight and fright response. This is why we can feel paralyzed, or indulge in distractions and destructive behavior, justified by our feelings of helplessness and pain. We desperately try to soothe the agony with meaningless activities.

When I am overwhelmed by these feelings, I want to scream. All the injustice and misery in the world is tearing me apart. It is infuriating and it makes me feel raw and vulnerable. I feel naked without my armor because I refuse to hide behind convenience and false security. I feel helpless. I want to be a leader, a pioneer, a revealer of truths, a dispeller of illusions.  The contrast between my desires and my feeling of helplessness makes my life seem pointless and hopeless again.

What I have learned, fortunately, is that how we respond to these emotions determines the outcome. These emotions are never going away; life will always try to overwhelm us like a big tsunami wave. Running and hiding, holding back, armoring up, playing it safe -- all these reactions will not in any way contribute to change. The result of this kind of behavior is that we become smaller and smaller, which makes our sense of being overwhelmed seem greater and greater.

The only way to survive and move beyond being overwhelmed, defeated, anxious and depressed, is to acknowledge our journey as challenging and difficult and realize that we then have a choice: to give in or be a hero. We are faced with this choice every day, not just once, but over and over again. We have to find every ounce of courage within ourselves  to face life’s ongoing challenges with the conviction that we will triumph, letting love and compassion overflow.

Seven Emotional First Aid Strategies:

1. Donate money and/or time: The obvious help is manpower and money to assist those in need. However, when you feel called to donate, make it really count by making it meaningful for you as well as for the recipient.
2. Tonglen practice: The Tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering —ours and that which is all around us. It is a way to awaken the compassion that is inherent in all of us. To read more about this practice please click on this link: The Practice of Tonglen by Pema Chodron
3. Amplify love and compassion: The positive energy we put into the world will be received by those in need. Stress energy is NOT what is needed. Calm yourself with deep breathing and generate loving feelings of gratitude and compassion for yourself and others.
4. Take loving care of yourself: You can’t help anyone if you don’t have energy. You are responsible for generating your own energy. The fundamentals of health and energy are sleep, nutrition, hydration, movement and mental-emotional-spiritual nourishment.
5. Choose to be a hero and believe in your power
6. Commit to your choice and make it your habit
7. Achieve your highest goals by staying focused, knowing your challenges, and repeating the aforementioned First Aid strategies.