The pain people are struggling with is UNACCEPTABLE and UNNECESSARY.
Emotional pain and physical pain.
Mostly emotional pain, because the root of most physical pain is emotional pain. Really.
Do you know when emotions express themselves in physical pain?
When you don’t express them. When you don’t express yourself.
One way of stuffing down feelings of anger, sadness, or fear for example is to cover it up and be polite, be nice, don’t say or do things that might hurt peoples feelings. Don’t say or do anything that may turn people against you. What if they don’t like you?
We all do this to some degree. And as long as you are aware of it, in control of it, and deal with it in a healthy way, it is not a problem.
But most of us are not even aware, let alone dealing with it in a healthy way.
It is a big problem that we make what we feel unacceptable, inappropriate, or just plain wrong. How did we get here? Why do we judge ourselves and our feelings?
We are bound by the beliefs we have around those feelings. Beliefs that were formed when we were children.
We are not born into an objective world. We are born into a world of belief systems. With rules based on values, agreements, and beliefs. A belief is information we accept as truth, or the thoughts we keep thinking.
A miracle happens, when we are born.
We are born perfect, innocent and ready to learn.
A young child, innocently expressing it’s feelings, can let them go in an instant and continue playing. Going through the emotions in a healthy way, always back to being happy. It is not trying to be nice, it’s just being. As long as it feels safe.
The belief “I am safe” will develop, as long as your needs as a child are met consistently, with love and care. When you are encouraged to express your feelings in a safe way, and you are not judged for feeling them, you develop emotional intelligence.
But life happens, and we all have examples of traumas, trials and tribulations in our childhood. Some people experienced horrible trauma.
The values and beliefs we are born into, shape our beliefs about ourselves. We are all conditioned how to behave and what to believe.
For example: Boys don’t cry; anger is bad; you can be sad and cry, but not for too long; shame on you for not being nice to your brother.
All adults have undergone the process of conditioning as children, developing coping skills that get us safely to adulthood. Each individual has their own process, with their own traumas and triggers, and their own coping skills. We learn what things are safe or not safe, we learn what we should do, and not do, to get what we need. We learn how to behave to survive.
We learn who (we think!) we are through the eyes of those that raise us, teach us, and surround us when we are young.
We hear what we are told and literally take that in. We hear what our parents talk about and literally absorb it, without really knowing what it means. Their worries and fears, their anger, disapproval, and sadness, shape our future and form our beliefs.
We get better at who to be so we fit in, than at expressing ourselves in a healthy way.
And that is bad for your health.
Somehow our emotions will find a way out and unfortunately in our current society this means pain and disease.
Instead of recognizing the true epidemic, we look for reasons within the body, find a diagnosis, treat the symptoms, ignoring the cause. No wonder chronic disease and chronic pain are such a problem and healing never happens.
What’s worse is, when stuffed down emotions lead to mental health issues. It’s ‘better’ to be diagnosed with ulcers or asthma, a real diagnosis, than to be labeled with anxiety or depression. If there is no physical evidence of a physical problem, it must be in your head. It somehow feels like it is your own fault, there is something wrong with you. It's like you're told you can’t handle what’s going on if you have a mental health issue. Saying that it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain doesn't make it more ‘real’. Every pain and health issue is a biochemical imbalance!
Every health issue is a mental/emotional issue, and often this is expressed in the body. A physical issue is accepted in our world, so the mind finds a way to release the pain through the body.
The truth is: there is no mental or physical health. There is only HEALTH.
It is not something you have or don’t have, it’s a changing state of being, on a sliding scale, constantly fluctuating.
And I know for sure that your health can be a lot better than it is right now. It can always be better.
If you want to feel better, have more health, more well-being, you have to start paying attention to how you feel, your emotions, and how you deal with them.
Do you accept and love yourself for who you are? Do you believe in yourself? Do you express yourself without feeling fear, guilt, or shame? Can you be you, unapologetically, confidently? Are you standing up for yourself?
Health is about feeling secure with yourself. Being able to express yourself, feeling connected, and whole. It’s about trusting yourself and knowing how to take care of yourself. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It’s about not being afraid of challenge and change. It’s about resilience and confidence.
The most important pillars of health are self-worth and purpose.
Only when we close the gap between the body, mind, and spirit, and view human beings as whole, energetic beings, will the stigma and misunderstanding about health fall away.
Being nice and politically correct is bad for your health. Being yourself, loving yourself and expressing yourself in a healthy way is good for your health.
Sometimes, this means you can be nice, but more often it means telling the truth. And saying what's true for you can sometimes hurt, which may not be nice, but it’s better for you.