Why Worry?

Photo by Jonas Thijs on Unsplash
“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.” – Dan Zadra 

Worry is nothing but a BLOCK created by a fear mindset.

Fear of what?

  • Uncertainty, unpredictability
  • Not being or having enough: LACK of control, money, love, health, safety/security

The subject is not important, it is all about the fear mindset where worry originates.

Worry is a certain way to create more stress in your life.

Do you have any idea how much time and energy worry takes up in your daily life?

It is time to start paying attention, because it may surprise you how much worry actually controls your life.

Whether you are aware of it or not:

  • Worry stops you from doing things and connecting, it kills your productivity and can isolate you. For example: Worry about what others think, not feeling good enough, “I feel insecure so I’d rather not meet new people, network, join a club, start this art class….
  • Worry can keep you stuck where you are, even if where you are is not where you want to be. For example: “At least I have a job”, “At least I have a relationship so I’m not alone”
  • Worry can drain your energy and is a threat to your well-being.
    It is the driving energy behind procrastination, indecisiveness, and self-doubt.

A fear mindset can make the world look like a big, scary place. Worry hacks your mind and completely pulls your attention towards the subject of your worry.
It can totally consume you and take your power away.

Is that enough reason for you to dive into this and learn ways to take away ‘Worry’s’ power over you?

Understanding how the mind works is the very first step. Knowledge is power.

Why do we worry?
We all do it, even though it doesn’t do anybody any good. So why do we keep doing it??

Because our primal brain, our automated, subconscious nervous system, does not like change, challenge, unpredictability and uncertainty. It wants to protect us and make sure we survive.
It operates from a BIAS of FEAR. It scans for lack and danger. It imagines the worst.

When you are faced with a choice, your primal brain will say: ‘What IF………?” followed by something negative. What if it doesn't work out?
You hear yourself say: “ Yes, BUT…….” followed by something negative. Yes, but I don't have time, money, confidence...etc.

A fear mindset takes all the fun and creativity out of life, so that you can be ‘safe’. But that won’t make you happy.

Our primal brain would love for our future to be predictable, the same as yesterday, maintain routines, habits of thinking and doing. Even when these no longer serve us.

It also wants to make sure we fit in and belong, so we do not get separated from the ‘tribe’. We need to be part of a community to survive.

Hence our need for control, certainty, and need to be approved of.

The magic of life can be found in the unpredictable future. This is where all possibilities are. We humans are created to deal with change, it’s our fear that tells us we aren’t.

Our smart, creative part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, can overrule the primal, protective brain.

We have been trained to look for the problems, but if we keep looking there, we will fail to see our possibilities.

We would still be driving around with horse and wagon on a flat earth if it wasn’t for those who went beyond worry, fear, and uncertainty.

We think, what we want is control and ease, predictable and certain, calm and peace. We believe we will be happy when we finally reach that stage.

But it does not exist and we would be bored in no time. Life will continue to challenge you, that’s how you grow. Be okay with that, learn to expect it and learn how to deal with it.

Worry has nothing to do with you being in real danger, it's all in your mind. If you don't start shifting the way you perceive your worry, you will take worry where ever you go, and always find a reason to worry about something. Shift that!

When your fear mindset kicks in and you get consumed with worry, become PRESENT.
Because it is the only moment where we do have control and we can ‘predict’, so the primal brain can relax.

How do you become present?

  1. Pay attention to where you are, your surroundings, the details of what you see, hear, smell, taste or feel.
  2. Pay attention to your breathing, the airflow, how deep or superficial you are breathing, take some deeper breaths.
  3. Pay attention to your self-talk. Talk kindly to yourself, don’t agree with your mind telling you that you are not good enough, don’t have enough, or won’t have or be enough. Focus on what you do have and want instead.

When you are in survival mode and preoccupied with worry, it is not a good time to make a decision. You want to feel better first, so that your creative mindset, your growth mindset, kicks in. So don’t just do something for the sake of doing. We are addicted to taking action. SLOW DOWN!

Don’t deny or down-play your fear or worry, observe it, notice the thoughts you are thinking. Question whether what you believe is really true, with the knowledge that your primal brain is trying to make things look threatening. You know better!

The moment you worry is not the end, this is not how it will be forever. "I will never have or be enough....."  It is the beginning of something better.

Now what are you going to do? You have a choice: let your worry control you, or are you taking back control?


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